Why I Would Consider Voting Republican: A List
1. I fell, hitting my head, severely imparing my judgement
2. I was forced to do so (torture via kd lang’s newest album, played repeatedly over high volume).
3. My meter was almost out, and I was borrowing my mom’s car.
4. It was a dying wish of someone close to me.
5. Hillary turned out to be a man.
6. Obama quit smoking.
7. It earned me “free buffet” points.
8. Parkas were on clearance in Hell.
9. It was either that, or gallons of castor oil.
10. I am a McCain, for fucksake. Think of the possible sexual encounters. Then again, I am voting Democrat, because any girl that was a Republican that was interested in fucking probably looks like this:
